Sriacha Lime Agave Popcorn
Preheat oven to 250 degrees.
Pop a bag of microwave popcorn (or do the cool stove thing if you know how to do that) and dump the finished product into a large bowl, removing all unpopped kernels.
Drizzle agave and sriracha over the popcorn in a ratio of about 3:1 sweet to spicy. Squeeze the juice of half of a small lime evenly over everything as well. Do not think you have to turn the popcorn red!!! In fact definitely do not do that. Use less sriracha than you think you need. I was at the end of my bottle and was originally bummed because I thought I wasn't going to have enough to get a real kick, but I was wrong. Plus I know you think it'll be too sweet with that ratio, but you need enough agave to stand up to both the spice of the chili and the acidity of the lime.
Toss popcorn in the bowl until nearly evenly coated (with clean hands is the easiest way). There is magic in the imbalance of some super spicy bits and some less spicy bits, so let that happen. Try a piece. Ugh, yeah.
Pour sticky mess onto a lined baking sheet and spread into a single layer. Let dry out in the oven for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally to break up the chunks. Allow to cool, pour back into original bowl, and then decimate the entire thing in front of that Christmas episode of The West Wing where Josh has PTSD. Think, briefly, about how perfect a bar snack this would probably be with margaritas, if only you liked margaritas. Make a mental note to tell your mom about it.