Sunday, September 29, 2013

because it flows.

Who's that fool reading city guidebooks on her front stoop?  And more importantly, does she get to move to another country yet?

Free People tunic; Sam Edelmen boots; vintage and Alex and Ani jewelry; Essie nail polish in Penny Talk

Thursday, September 26, 2013

that shit is gonna look so seasonal*

It is FALL, beezies and bruthamen, which means only squash and butter and sage and orange things and scarves and apples and boots from here on out.  It is fall, and the air is getting crisper, and it sort of smells like fire outside, do you know what I mean?  And while you don't have to love sweaters --- if you don't love sweaters I will still respect you --- just understand that if that's true for you then your opinion is wrong.  Ok.  Great.  Autumn officially welcomed and initiated.  Haters far far far to the left.

Here is an easy way to put fall directly into your mouth.

Pumpkin pie spice is a one stop shop to oral autumngasm (ew I'm sorry) (not sor-- no, yeah, I'm sorry).  A mix of cinnamon, ginger, allspice and nutmeg, it is all goodness all the time.
You should shake it (plus some agave or honey for sweetness) into your nonfat greek yogurt right this very instant.

And, as no fall-flavored breakfast item should go topless:

Crunchy Oat Crumble
based on the topping part of this Bon Ap recipe

1/2 cup oats
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
2 tablespoons sesame seeds
1/2 cup sunflower seeds (Would have been pepitas but Safeway doesn't have them???????!? Safeway is uninvited to fall. Safeway, go stand with the haters.)
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup brown sugar
pinch of salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
one shake of nutmeg

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Toss all ingredients in a bowl, then spread evenly on a baking sheet and toast on the bottom rack for 10 minutes.  Allow to cool completely before using or storing.

This makes a lot but you're not upset because think of tomorrow.

If you ***wanted*** you could put pumpkin pie spice directly into this thing, that would probably rock.  But since I knew I was blending it into my yogurt I refrained.  You do you.

OMGGGGG what are you gonna be for Halloween??!

Scheming in the corner and drinking a chai,

*this, obviously.

Sunday, September 15, 2013


Working as a barista at my favorite coffee shop this summer was good for my wallet, my hipster factor and my coffee IQ, but straight up TURRIBUL for my eating habits.  I've never been awesome at resisting baked goods, but still-hot scones, muffins and bagels are impossible to turn down at 7 AM, especially when they don't cost me squat.  My biggest downfall: the vegan fruit and nut scones, crumbly and cinnamony and studded with dried cranberries and raisins.  I could never adhere to veganism because a life without cheese is not a life worth living, but as a baked good, these bad boys don't miss the eggs or butter at all.  I chucked in whatever we had in the pantry plus some fresh blueberries, and while they aren't identical to the ones I gobbled all summer at the Unicorn Cafe (whattt is the secretttttt??), they are definitely breakfast material.  Also they require only one bowl and less than 30 minutes of your time.  Knock em out, kids.

Vegan Fruit and Nut Scones

2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup vegetable oil
1/3 cup agave nectar
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup water
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
internal decorations like whoa:
fresh blueberries
dried cranberries
golden raisins
shredded coconut
chopped walnuts
whole oats sprinkled on top

I am a parishioner at the Church of A Little Bit of Batter Holding All Of Your Stuff Together.  Amen.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Mix all things in a big bowl until combined.  Scoop 1/4 cup mounds of batter onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet, flattened a bit, and distanced about an inch apart to allow for spreading.

Bake for 15 minutes or until golden, rotating the sheet 180 degrees halfway through.

Serving suggestion: honey, iced coffee, and an issue of Bon Appetit from August 1997.