Wednesday, August 21, 2013

mine second.

A hand-me-down Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress from my mama, making me feel grown up and ladylike, which are two things I rarely feel.

floor to ceiling.

Some Things I Wonder: A List

How many years of my life did I erase yesterday by demolishing a bag of Garrett Popcorn Chicago Mix?  Is it weird that I was scrolling though some healthcrazy's fitness Instagram while I was licking the alien cheese powder off my fingers?  Is this the catch-22 of the modern twenty something?  Ok cool.

At what point is it not funny anymore that my nail polish is always chipped?

How many times in a row is too many times in a row to listen to Bruno Mars?  Is Bruno Mars even relevant anymore?

What is it like to be on the lost side of a language barrier?

Should I throw a party for myself when I finish watching the entirety of the West Wing, which I am only three episodes away from doing, and sub-question: should I cheer or weep at this party?

Is it possible to be jealous of a window?

Have you seen Blue Jasmine?

Sunday, August 18, 2013

no work done

During the warmer months of the year, when the earth decides to make all of the best tasting plants have really good hair days all together at once, I am a huge proponent of Minimal Manipulation.  When the weather is good and the produce is better, I am an advocate of Hands Off.  When things are this brightly colored and fantastically fresh, your mission is to screw them up as little as possible.

Enter: salads.  Yeah ok yawn I hear you.  But on a very white plate (this matters), with a collection of assorted attractive vegetables, barely dressed, salads can be sort of thrilling.  I said it.  Thrilling.

Lazy Summer Salad

Sweet corn
Cherry tomatos
Roasted beets --- Wrap in tin foil, 350 degree oven for one hour, fin
Pesto --- I did basil/spinach/more arugula/lemon juice/walnut/garlic/olive oil/water/s&p

Requirement: arranging your salad like an asshole.

Though real life doesn't suck so bad either.

Thursday, August 15, 2013


an out of focus fool

The knotted turban is a trend to which I took a long time coming around, a phrase which here means, "I hated knotted turbans until yesterday."  This was because I had only ever explored the ones that came pre-knotted or had wire in them, and I received a failing grade in How To Work With Either Of Those Things.  I tried.  I looked like Professor Trelawney.

Good thing the lovely Vanilla & Lace came to my rescue: girlfriend posted a devastatingly simple call to action -- tie. fabric. around. head. -- that gave me a good use for the scrap I cut off the bottom of an old shirt to make it work with high waisted pants.  I knew that scrap was destined for greatness.  It also sent me to the office looking like I got lost on my way to Lollapalooza so, really, victory is mine.

here she is loving on herbs

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


Men's Gap button down; BDG denim, Vince Camuto heels
Today on Dressing Up Like Leandra Medine: a huge short sleeved button down in the same plaid as my grade school uniform skirt (I am drawn to it with a sort of animal magnetism that I can only attribute to its cartoon character-esque ubiquity in my closet for muchos a├▒os) and cage heels.

I read The Man Repeller every day, and I have learned many a lesson from its proprietor, but I will admit that I do not usually...adhere.  To these lessons.  Leandra touts the sartorial effectiveness of single sole heels (ow), layers like a maniac (ok), invented the Arm Party (yes), and this was her wedding dress (holy whoa).  So.  I think cafeteria discipleship is in order.  The shoes and the Not My Size shirt felt like easy places to start, so here I am, in my sublet bedroom, hazardously kicking the window in an attempt to be mildly repellant.

I am most successful at this, perhaps, here, where I wonder what to do with my huge front pocket.  I've taken to keeping my phone in there, which makes it look to the casual passerby like I have a super saggy left boob.  I get aaaallllllllllll the boys this way, in case you were wondering.

Also by being cross-eyed.  And slouching.

On an unrelated note, August is Everybody Redesign Your Website Month, or so it appears, and suddenly I don't know how to navigate anything on the entire internet.  Are you having this problem?  Let's talk about it.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013


I wrote a big thing here about how I have trouble making decisions, because I tend to worry about the course of fate, but then I deleted it.  I wrote about how when debating between pizza and Thai food for dinner, I am often concerned with like, upsetting the cosmos or something by making the wrong choice. Am I supposed to have pizza today?  Would I be ignoring the urgings of the universe if I ordered curry?  If I order Chinese will my fortune cookie tell me what to do?  Should just eat already before I give myself an aneurysm?

I deleted the crazytalk reflection because it can all be summed up quite simply: I think choices are scary as shit.  I don't like to make them, and even so, in the coming few weeks I'm gonna have to make a couple big ones.  Does this make me want to crawl into my bed and watch The West Wing for hours?  Yes, and so I did that.  And then I got out of bed, and I took a deep breath, and I watered the basil plant, and then I made muffins.

The only decision these muffins present you with is whether or not you want to make them.  And right now, I am the universe, and I am saying to you, softly at first and then with steadily increased volume and fervor: yes you do yes you do MAKE them MAKE THEM.

Lemon Blueberry Muffins 
makes 15
adapted from Kitchen Belleicious

for the muffins
2 1/4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 eggs
1 stick of butter, melted
1/2 cup nonfat greek yogurt
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
zest and juice of one lemon
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 heaping cup fresh blueberries

for the crumble
1 stick of butter, melted
1 1/2 cups flour
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/8 cup granulated sugar
pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix flour, salt and baking soda in a small bowl.  Set aside.

Beat eggs, butter and sugars together until creamy.  Add yogurt, lemon and vanilla and continue to beat until combined.  Fold dry ingredients into this mixture, being sure not to over mix.  Fold in blueberries last.

Cut sugars, flour and salt for the crumble into the butter using a fork.  Continue to mix until clumps form.

Fill muffin liners in a muffin tin 3/4 full of batter, and then top with a serious sprinkling of crumble.  Bake for 15 minutes.

I lied, the only real question these muffins pose to you is how many you are going to eat right out of the oven.  If you are anything like me, your answer is one.  And then one before bed, and then two for breakfast the next morning ughhhh but you can't hate yourself because fruit.

Monday, August 12, 2013

nothing better.

Sometimes I think, I bet there's something out there better than caprese.
And then I'm like, HAHAHAHAHA girl don't be a fool.

PS: Guess who's an alien when he doesn't have an instrument to hide behind?

Thursday, August 1, 2013

say it to me now.

Let us now brainstorm food names that are the same level of fun to say as they are good tasting.  Ready set go.

Sriracha.  Not sorry.
Dim sum.
Haricot vert.
Pico de gallo.

There are a lot!  Which is the best one?

PSYCH that was a trick question, I know the best one.  I knew it all along.  There is a winner. I know the winner.  The winner is bibimbap.

Say it aloud right now please.

Bi. Bim. Bap.


Bibimbap literally means "mixed rice."  It is a Korean dish (traditionally with a toasted rice base) of saucy vegetables, meat sometimes, and in the best places, a fried egg.  I ate it first with Seitan at the vegetarian holy land near my apartment, and have since craved it on a biweekly basis.  Also sometimes I yell its name in public just for fun.

Today we make bibimbap (based on the recipe from Bon Appetit).  Ready set go.

Grain base.
I used quinoa because I am in a monogamous relationship with quinoa. You can flirt with rice (brown, white, wild), barley, couscous, farro, lentils, whatever you're into, I don't know your life.

Garlicky spinach.
6 ounces of spinach leaves cooked down in 1 1/2 teaspoons sesame oil with two small cloves of garlic, minced.  Season with salt and ground pepper.

Bean sprout and carrot slaw.
Toss shredded carrots and bean sprouts with rice wine vinegar, a little tahini, salt and pepper.

Soy-glazed mushrooms.
Coat 2 cups thinly sliced shititakes with a whisked mixture of 1/4 cup soy sauce and 1 tablespoon honey.  Simmer over medium heat until liquid is absorbed.

Bulgogi tofu.
Technically this should be thinly sliced beef but I wasn't feeling it.  Marinade your protein (whatever you desire to use) in the following sauce for at least 30 minutes, and then cook in a hot pan with 1/2 tablespoon of oil, flipping to cook through.

Bulgogi: Whisk together 1/4 cup soy sauce; 1/3 cup grated Asian pear with juices; 1 large clove of garlic, minced; 2 teaspoons honey; and 1 teaspoon grated ginger.

Sauteed zucchini.
Sesame oil, salt and pepper.

&&&&& a fried egg!
Plus sriracha because hi.

Ohhh biii.
Oh bim.
Oh bap.
Oh death I am so full of this stuff I have eaten nine bowls send help.


These are a few of my favorite things.